1. Not having a discussions about alternative living arrangements for your parents.
It is critical to be proactive about this! If you start this process early on, it will be a lot easier and much less confrontational. When you start these discussions about options and choices early on, you are able to be much more relaxed and calm about it.
If you wait and start talking about it after your Dad has fallen and broken his hip, there is no time to be low key-you are now “under the gun” to find answers quickly!
2. Not having a clear picture of your parents’ finances.
Do you know if your parents have a long term care insurance policy? If they have one, make sure you know where to find it and that it can be easily accessed. It’s also a good idea to take the time to read through the policy so you have at least a basic understanding of what it and isn’t covered.
If they do not have insurance, what other financial resources do they have? Perhaps it would make sense for you and your parents to talk with a lawyer about Medicaid eligibility and spend down rules. Also, if you have a parent who is a Veteran, it’s possible they’re eligible to receive coverage for some services.
3. When your parents’ health starts to fail, thinking that a nursing home is the only option.
It’s important to understand that there are plenty of options around these days. If your parent is is adamant about remaining in their own home, chances are good that you can arrange for quality care there until they pass.
You can also get a bit creative about combining several types of care. As an example, a family could have Dad go to an adult day care facility a few times a week. Other days you may have a caregiver that stays with him other days and also overnight. Then you and other family members can fill in other times, if needed. When it comes to customizing a plan that is right for you and your loved ones, the possibilities are endless.
4. Not getting help until the last minute.
This is a big one. If you wait until Mom is schedule to come home tomorrow from a hospital stay, it will be extremely difficult to make good, rational decisions in such a short time. Trying to develop a good plan of care under such stress will be overwhelming.
My advice is to do your homework sooner rather than later. It’s never too early to start to search out a few agencies or facilities, find ones you are comfortable with and start building a relationship with them. You can even arrange a visit for you and/or your parents to a facility or have someone come to your home for an assessment. This way, if an emergency occurs, you’ll be reaching out to people you are comfortable with and are familiar with your loved one and their situation.
5. Looking at cost alone when deciding on care.
This can go both ways. There are very expensive nursing home facilities that have very poor track records of care. Don’t be swayed by fancy brochures, videos or tours. Try and talk to some of the actual residents and their loved ones.
And it you’re looking to arrange home care, selecting the company with the lowest rates might not be the best option. The quality caregivers out there command (and deserve) a higher salary. Good home care agencies can’t be the lowest cost providers yet offer the best caregivers. Lastly, if you go the home care route, be sure to meet with, and approve of, anyone that will be provider care for your loved one before they start care.
Theanna Zika founded St. Louis, MO senior home care company, Heavenly Helpers, in 2004. She shares tips, strategies and advice about caring for seniors that she has learned over the years on the blog at her company’s website. The site also features a helpful list of St. Louis, MO senior resources for seniors and their families in the St. Louis, MO Metro area.
